phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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