Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
