She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
