he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
