i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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