Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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