In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
