I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
