Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
