but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
