why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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