just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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