so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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