Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
