I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
