haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
did i just pee glitter
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
