the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
