She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
