google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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