look no pants
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
