How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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