This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
