the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
