I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
