And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
