We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
