Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
