please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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