Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
