I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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