hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
