I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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