hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
COCAINE IS GR8
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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