you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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