he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
