North Korea, Best Korea!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
