Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
