Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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