How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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