Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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