She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
