Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
