She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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