I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
