I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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