she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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