I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
