we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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