apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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