and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
