omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
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