What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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